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The memory verse for this week is:

"Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (GWT)

The weekly One Year Bible Chronological Reading plan this week is Job 17-39:

Su - Job. 17-20; Mo - Job. 21-23; Tu - Job. 24-28, We - Job 29-31; Th - Job 32-34; Fr - Job 35-37; Sa - Job 38-39

1. COMMIT YOURSELF TO GOD’S STANDARD’S

Sexual purity begins with a decision to be pure - with a choice to be obedient to God’s standards even though it will be difficult. How can you do this?

• Learn what God’s Word says about purity
• Establish some ground rules for your relationships
• Decide how far is too far NOW and never cross the line

If you date someone and things go well how far will you go? God calls you to refrain from all forms of sexual intimacy until marriage. You need to decide what those lines are for you. I think some good principles to follow are this:

• Would I be doing do this openly around other Christians?
• Is this going to end up tempting me to go too far?
• Could this potentially tempt my date to go too far?
• Would God be pleased with this?

To that end here are a few things to consider prolonged sessions of kissing, petting, and partial or total nudity, immodest dress, sexually explicit conversation, letters, e-mails, text messages, even viewing sexually suggestive forms of media and entertainment

2. MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT WAITING AND THE BENEFITS OF WAITING.

When you’re faced with temptation a great tool to help you overcome the temptation is to magnify the potential consequences of that sin. For example, if you’re tempted to have pre-marital sex that would be a good time to remind yourself that there’s a 25% or better chance that you will contract a STD including HIV. That would be a good time to remind yourself that after a few minutes of pleasure you could be a mommy or daddy for the rest of your life. It would be a good time to ask yourself, “How would I feel if my spouse walked in on this?”

3. FIND A MATURE CHRISTIAN ADULT YOU CAN CONFIDE IN.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Prov. 27:17 (NIV)

There is no underestimating the value of a mature Christian friend that you can turn to for help, counsel, and even correction. They can help you be more balanced and objective in how you handle romantic relationships. But the key words are “mature Christian adult!” No unbelievers in this role, no immature Christians in this role, no teenagers in this role. You need a mature Christian adult!

4. NO MISSIONARY DATING

“Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness?” 2 Cor. 6:14 (GWT)

If you’re single decide up front who you are willing to date and who you are not willing to date. In other words, prayerfully establish some basic standards for you dating relationships. Create a profile of a person you would date.

Believers with believers only - there is no dating unbelievers here. Avoid the deception to "missionary date" with the hope of converting unbelievers because while you wait on them to come to Christ, which they may never do, you can get emotionally, and even too-often physically, entangled. I personally think you should go even further here.

5. KNOW YOURSELF AND BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

This is simple. No one knows you better than you. You know what gets you into trouble in relationships. You know what kind of people are bad for you - but you tend to be drawn to them anyway. You know what kind of places are bad for you - but you tend to be drawn to them anyway. You know what kind of activities are bad for you - but you tend to be drawn to them. Follow your conscience and avoid those people, places, and activities.

6. SERVE GOD AND LET HIM FIND YOUR MATE

“So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:20-22 (NIV)

It was while Adam was going about his work for God that God brought him a mate. For a Christian, prior to entering the covenantal relationship of marriage with another person you are in fact already in a covenantal relationship with God.

In fact, the Apostle Paul celebrates the fact that single people have certain advantages over married people when it comes to God. They can and should devote themselves more so to serving God. No one should be doing more in the church, in the Kingdom of God than single people. You should be the most aggressive servants of God in terms of time devoted directly to building the Kingdom.

7. DEVOTE YOURSELF TO GROWING IN CHRIST

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” Ephesians 6:10-11 (NIV)

• Pray daily for God’s wisdom, strength, protection and blessing
• Immerse yourself in your relationship with God - stay close to Him

8. GUARD YOUR MIND

“Be careful how you think, your life is shaped by your thoughts.” Prov. 4:23 (NCV)

God says, “Guard your mind.” Why? Because not every thought you have is a good thought. And even thoughts that in themselves may not be “evil” or “bad” can lead us into temptation. So God says, “Pay attention to your thoughts and learn how to shut the door of your mind to garbage.” The same way you would secure your home at night to prevent unwanted guests you need to secure your mind to prevent unwanted thoughts from leading down the path of sin. Here’s a few ways you can do that?

• Memorize large portions of Scripture - “Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You!” Psalm 119:11 (NIV)
• Actively think about good - “Turn your back on lustful thoughts and give your positive attention to goodness, integrity, love, and peace.” 2 Tim. 2:22 (Ph)
• Avoid situations that stir up the wrong desires - “Flee from sexual immorality.” 1 Cor. 6:18 (NIV)

That's a great question that deserves some attention.

In a poll on religion and the family conducted for Religion & Ethics Newsweekly, 49% of Americans said that cohabitation was acceptable. In my experience that percentage is probably not much different in the church. But in the August 2005 issue of Psychology Today, there was an article entitled, "The Cohabitation Trap: When 'Just Living Together' Sabotages Love" by Nancy Wartik.

The article concluded that, “Living together before marriage seems like a smart way to road test the relationship. But cohabitation may lead you to wed for all the wrong reasons--or turn into a one-way trip to splitsville.”

There are a few common reasons behind cohabitation...
a. Some see cohabitation as sort of marriage experiment.
b. Some believe living together will help them make a more informed decision about marriage.
c. And for some living together just makes good economic sense.

First lets see what the Bible says and then I give you some research from a non-Christian source. Is cohabitation sexual immorality? What does the Bible say about cohabitation?

Defining Sexual immorality

The Greek word pornea is often translated into English as "sexual immorality." It is a broad word that includes a whole host of deviant and not so deviant (by cultural standards) sexual behavior. It includes things like prostitution, incest, bestiality, adultery, pornography, homosexuality, and fornication. One definition of fornication is having sex with someone you're not married to.

So is Cohabitation Sexual immorality? The answer is maybe!

(1) Cohabitation generally includes the idea of sharing the same bed, which most definitely falls under the definition of sexual immorality. The Bible calls clearly defines that as sexual immorality and God tells us to avoid it. It’s pretty straightforward. So in a vast majority of cases cohabitation leads to sexual immorality.

(2) But -- “What if we’re living together but not sleeping together or having sex. We’re just living under the same roof?” Well technically cohabitation under those circumstances isn’t sexual immorality. If that's true then why does the "church" have such a dim view of it? Although cohabitation under these circumstances isn't sexual immorality there are other biblical principles related to this that need to be considered. Let me list a few.

• Your Reputation

“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” I The. 5:22 (KJV)

“But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality...” Eph. 5:3 (NIV)

Your Christian testimony (reputation) and even that of your church may be damaged if you live in a cohabitation arrangement. Not everyone will know, ask, or even believe that you're not having sex with your partner. You may think, "That's their problem, not mine." Well, that's only partly true because the God wants us to live above reproach and avoid situations that even hint of sexual immorality - like cohabitation. Even though you may not be committing sexual immorality your living arrangements may damage your integrity with other and reflect poorly on you, your church, and God.

• Your Love For Others

“If what I eat is going to make another Christian sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live – for I don't want to make another Christian stumble.” I Cor. 8:13 (NLT)

Paul made a practice of avoiding activities that he knew would be offensive to others. Some of the things he avoided he would have avoided no matter what. But other things he avoided he did so, not because they were wrong or sinful, but simply because he knew some people would have a problem with them. The principle is called "deference." Deference is limiting your freedom for the sake of others. For example, if you had a five year old child you're probably careful about what movies you let them watch. In fact, you may actually wait until they are in bed before you watch certain programming. Why? Out of deference for them. You love them and care about them and so you're willing to reshape your behavior and even limit it for your child's benefit. Cohabitation is a sensitive issue still for many people, especially in the church. Why not show your love for others by choosing to limit your freedom and decide not to cohabitate?

• Your Freedom

“Everyone is tempted by his own desires as they lure him away and trap him.” James 1:14 (GWT)

The Bible tells us over and over again to avoid, flee from, run from temptation - especially sexual immorality. By living with someone of the opposite sex you set yourself up for temptation, which just sets you up for failure. All it takes is just one moment of weakness. Even when the person you cohabitate with is not your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance the temptations are still there. Even if you're not attracted to your roommates they may be attracted to you or they may bring home friends unannounced. Any number of things can and will conspire against you to put you in a compromising and tempting situation. If you value your freedom from sin and especially sexual immorality then avoid cohabitation.

• Your Conscience

“Whenever our conscience condemns us, we will be reassured that God is greater than our conscience and knows everything.” 1 John 3:20 (GWT)

"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." James 4:17 (NLT)

Finally, we all have that small still voice called the Holy Spirit that speaks to us. If your conscience tells you, "Don't do this." That would be the Holy Spirit and it's best to listen to that voice. If you're conflicted about doing it that a good sign that you should not do it. In the immortal words of Monty Python and the Holy Grail - "Run Away!" When you begin to make choices that conflict with your conscience you begin to harden your heart toward God. It's a slippery slope that just takes you, almost imperceptibly, further and further away from God.

What does the research say?

Research on this issue has yielded some interesting findings. And by the way the research is predominantly not done by Christians who might be tempted to skew the results.

• Couples who move in together before marriage hare two times more likely to divorce than couples who marry before living together.
• Couples who lived together before marriage tend to have poorer-quality marriages than couples who did not cohabitate before marriage.
• Couples who cohabitate before marriage tend to be less committed to their spouse and less likely to remain faithful than couples who did not cohabitate.
• Men who cohabit are especially less likely to ever commit to marriage.
• Couples who cohabitate tend to have less traditional views about marriage which, among other things, tends to weaken their faith and belief in God.
• Children who live with their parents in cohabitation arrangements tend to have more emotional and/or academic problems than children who live with two married parents.
• Children whose parents modeled cohabitation are more likely to do the same than children whose parents modeled marriage first.

Is cohabitation ever acceptable?

I believe there are some exceptions. For example, when family members cohabitate such as brother and sister. And there probably are some other cases where it would be acceptable. You'd have to evaluate each on a case by case basis.

How do I get out of a cohabitation situation?

As fast as possible! Most people stay in them, even when they conclude they are wrong, because (1) they're afraid they'll lose their significant other, (2) they're afraid they'll lose money, (3) they don't have the money to move.

So what do you do? First, explain to your partner why you need to do this. Don't waiver in your conviction on this. If they really love you they will come around. If they don't you may have saved yourself a great deal of pain later in life. Second, put an immediate end to any sexual immorality and take steps to protect yourself from it in the future. Third, deal fairly with the financial issues but don't let a loss of some finances keep you from pleasing the Lord and doing what you know is right. God can restore what you "lose." Fourth, make financial arrangements to move out. Start saving money, talk to another friend who may need a roommate, etc. Fifth, Move out or have them move out as soon as possible. Of course be sure to pray always during this process for God's help, favor, and courage to do what you must do. You may be surprised how God comes through for you!

Summary: Whether the circumstances surrounding cohabitation make it sexual immorality or not the Biblical precedence is that it should be avoided. Even the research surrounding this issue makes it clear that cohabitation is bad news for everybody involved. Common sense says no, the research says no, even the Bible says no - so I would conclude that cohabitation is bad news and in most cases it probably is sin as well.

Is sex outside of marriage wrong? The short answer is, “Yes - it’s wrong.” Some scriptural support for that would be...

“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband... Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Cor. 7:1-2, 8-9 (NIV)

“It is God’s will... that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” 1 Thes. 4:3-4 (NIV)

The phrase sexual immorality deals with all kinds of sexual activity inside and outside the marriage relationship including all sorts of deviant sexual behavior. It would include pornography, prostitution, adultery, and even premarital sex or se with someone you're not married to. In other words, these passages help us understand that sexual immorality is sin and God wants us to avoid it.

FIVE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD COMPLY WITH GOD’S COMMAND TO AVOID SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

1. GOD LOVES YOU AND ONLY HAS YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART

“The Lord your God would not listen to Balaam but turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loves you.” Deut 23:5 (NIV)

God loves you and only asks of you what will ultimately be best for you in the end. It doesn’t mean it’s the easiest or most pleasant path, but it always the most eternally rewarding path.

“However, the person who continues to study God's perfect teachings that make people free and who remains committed to them will be blessed. People like that don't merely listen and forget; they actually do what God's teachings say.” James 1:25 (GWT)

God’s word is a treasure map. When you study it and do it consistently you keep stumbling into good things. You keep tripping over blessing. It’s not an accident. It’s because God loves you so much that he gave you his Son, his Spirit, and he gave you his word to lead you into the best, most rewarding life possible. God rewards obedience.

2. SEX IS A GIFT TO BE ENJOYED WITHIN MARRIAGE

"Sex is good, it is God's gift... and this good gift of God will find its fullest expression realized when a man and a woman give themselves completely to each other in the marriage relationship.” - Daniel Akin, God on Sex

There is a very popular term in our culture today related to sex. It’s the phrase casual sex. Nowhere in the Bible can you find any reference or credibility given to the idea of casual sex. The reason is because from God’s perspective there is nothing casual about sex. Sex is sex - and it has very real consequences for the parties involved. In the context of marriage those consequences are typically blessings. But outside the context of marriage those consequences are costly, life long, and potentially disastrous. Sexually transmitted diseases, unexpected pregnancy, and psychological and spiritual scars are just a few of those potential consequences.

When you recognize that sex is a gift from God, who was the creator of it - doesn’t it make sense to follow God’s instructions about sex? Who knows best how something works? Wouldn’t it be the creator?

When you open a new gift that requires assembly. What do you do? Do you just start trying to put it together or do you read the instructions? All the men are saying, “I never read the instructions. Instructions are for wimps. I just figure it out as I go.” And that’s why we have so many problems with sex. We never read the instructions. The creator gave sex for the pleasure and enjoyment of a man and a woman in the context of marriage. If you use it that way you get the most out of it. If you don’t use it that way it’s like trying to hammer a nail with an iPod. You won’t drive the nail and you’ll wreck the iPod in the process.

Yeah, but isn’t sexual desire natural? Yes it is, but that doesn't mean that every way of satisfying that desire is appropriate or even good for you. Hunger is natural, but eating too much or the wrong things can make you or sick or even kill you. Thirst is natural but would you want to drink polluted water. No. why? Because it could make you sick.

“God wants you to be pure and to keep clear of all sexual sin... For God has not called us to be dirty-minded and full of lust but to be holy and clean.” 1 Thes. 4:3,7 (LB)

God doesn’t want us drinking dirty water when it comes to sex and sexual desire. The proper way to deal with our natural desires is either satisfy them in the context of marriage or overcome them in Christ.

3. GOD’S INSTRUCTS US TO BE HOLY AND AVOID SEXUAL IMMORALITY

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified and that you should avoid sexual immorality and that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” 1 Thes. 4:3-4 (NIV)

The third reason why we should avoid sexual immorality is simply because God said so. The Bible forbids all sex outside marriage.

Limiting your sexual disobedience to a one person doesn't turn it into something that’s acceptable in God’s eyes. Limiting sexual disobedience to someone you “love” or have deep feelings for doesn’t make it acceptable in God’s eyes. You’re not “making love” - you’re having sex. If it was real love it would wait until it could be expressed and experienced within marriage.

“Never offer any part of your body to sin's power. No part of your body should ever be used to do any ungodly thing. Instead, offer yourselves to God as people who have come back from death and are now alive. Offer all the parts of your body to God. Use them to do everything that God approves of.” Romans 6:12-13 (GWT)

4. PREMARITAL SEX DAMAGES INTIMACY AND COMMITMENT IN MARRIAGE

Commitment is the foundation of a marriage - not sex. Build a marriage on anything other than commitment expressed in love and it will fail - and there are many kinds of failure. Commitment creates the proper environment for trust, which leads to intimacy. Without real commitment there cannot be real trust - and without real trust there will not be real intimacy.

Let me ask you a question. Would you feel more comfortable telling a very personal, and intimate detail about yourself to -- a friend who has proven over the years to be trustworthy and able to maintain confidentiality, or would you tell it to a friend who has a big mouth? You would tell the friend who is trusted to keep it confidential, not the big mouth. Why - because trust allows you to feel confident about being intimate. Trust breeds intimacy. You can only be intimate with someone to the extent you trust them.

“Unmarried commitment” is a contradiction in terms; the proper term for a committed sexual relationship is “marriage.” Without it, what would you be committed to? Committed to sex? Here's how you know you have a commitment. When you're married, you have one, and when you're not married, you don't. Before the marriage ceremony, everything is reversible — your thoughts, your feelings, even your intention to get married.

5. THERE ARE VERY REAL LIFE LONG PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES TO SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

• Unplanned pregnancy - Eighty percent of teens that become pregnant drop out of school. And 60% of them get pregnant again with 2 years. We’re told that teen pregnancies account for some 30% of US abortions.
• A less than ideal marriage
• Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD's)

Approximately one in four sexually active teens is living with a sexually transmitted disease (Dr. Meg Meeker in Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids Lifeline Press, 2002).

Nine million Americans are carrying a sexually transmitted disease. And at that rate of growth it will be one out of every four people in about five years.

Why is that happening? Because of sex outside of the marriage relationship.

A teenager has sex with that person they think is the "one" - only to a few weeks later they now have an STD they have to carry the rest of their lives - and may someday have to explain to their potential future spouse - assuming the disease isn’t fatal. An unfaithful husband or wife has a one nightstand and then infects their spouse with HIV. The chances of infection may be around 25%, but if you’re infected, you’re 100 percent infected.

Sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality. And sexual immorality is sin. Can you avoid it - yes. Should you avoid it yes!

“You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Cor. 6:19-20